noticed some ants in the commode. terribly worried about by blood sugar level...
went to ENT to have Praveen's ear problem diagnosed & treated. Stepped into pharmacy outside the clinic to fetch the prescribed medicines. The pharmacist asked the person in front, after supplying him with requisite dosages, whether he had ample stock of facial masks at home. The person replied in the affirmative & left me staring blankly at the "proximity" of infection :-|
pimples are sprouting on my lower lips like tadpoles on a rainy night. wonder what is the criteria for a pimple to make its mind to originate at a particular spot on the skin, when there is a vast galaxy of anatomic space from head to toe!!
surprised & amused that i suffer from indigestion, nausea & dehydration more often when i eat home-made food than when i eat the junk food on the streets :D
Stuck in strangling traffic today morn for 1.5hrs from home to office, which ideally takes 15-20mins on an abnormal (traffic-less) day!
dunno which was more annoying... my bus being jammed in a solid sea of vehicles flooding the invisible road, moving at a speed of a millimetre a minute (OR) being seated on the most uncomfortable luggage holder hump just above the front wheels of the Volvo, causing me to "jolt" like Farhan Akhtar in "Rock On" (OR) perceiving with utmost disgust the bus conductor's fingers digging deep into her nostrils busily extracting volumes of :yuck:, the very same fingers involved in distribution of tickets & the holy currency (OR) a fellow passenger caughing uncontrollably with her mouth wide open to intricate examination n infection!!
Gawd!! travelling in a local non A/C bus is far less disgusting than this irky expensive travel in a Volvo!
Had a veg burger for breakfast, 2 veg rolls for lunch & a veg sandwich for dinner! 8-O feel like a miserable Mexican Submarine soaked in yellow yucky cheese!
badly wanna dig into hot masala dosa accompanied by red,white,green chutneys & steaming sambhar and a onion-sprinkled sambhar vada, preferably with kuzhi paniyaaram as a starter & SaravanaBhavan-CurdRice as ender! :D sighhhh!
in love with this crazy month - posessing 2 M, 1 L & 1 XL weekends :D
dreaming about those summer holidays... when 2 whole months used to be XXL weekends always... :dream: :dream:
Showing posts with label all-in-the-game. Show all posts
Showing posts with label all-in-the-game. Show all posts
Monday, 14 September 2009
Friday, 28 August 2009
Autodrivers Anonymous - Part I
Note: i have many a times copy+pasted stuff from this space to my personal blog at office... today i thought why not do the converse operation :) not that i have a great many fans awaiting with bated breath for my incredibly intellectual posts here... but this is more of a Backup operation (just in case i terminate my relations with the current org, sooner... or later... hmmm...)
Warning: Long post ahead! read at your risk :) :)
This happened sometime post the hot summer of 2006…. when the rains had just grazed the thirsty soils of Chennai. i was put up in a structurally double/practically single BHK apartment at Thiruvanmiyur, just behind the Marudeeswarar temple.
It had been just two or three days since i joined 'my current org' and hence i lacked all the essentials possessed by SW professionals - namely ID card, Access card & Bus pass! So, everyday i used to walk till TIDEL signal and take a share auto to TCO. This particular day, as i stepped out of my flat, the debut showers for the day had started…. and i had no umbrella/windcheater/any other protective equipment in hand…. And self being in disagreement with Shriya Saran's principles, didnt want to do a "Rain number" from Tvmyr to TIDEL…. you might be wondering why i didnt take the ECR route from Thiruvanmiyur instead of the bumpy OMR route? Well, to be frank… though i had been in Chennai for 7yrs during childhood & 2yrs as a working professional, i did not know of any land beyond Tvmyr!! My intuition was that.. the Indian subcontinent stopped within the boundary of Tvmyr… and anything beyond that was an alien continent/extra terrestrial space!! So, i silently walked till the Marudeeswarar temple… while the rain drops were beginning to gain momentum… eagerly looking for an auto of "acceptable nature"! Several autos flew by… but none of them headed to Thoraipakkam After about 10mins of impatient waiting… one auto driver slowed down near me expectantly. "Thoraipakkam?" i enquired, in a slang & accent that brings back memories of the first 10mins of the magnum opus "Dasavatharam"!! He said "80!" and i got into the auto without any further negotiations…. for fear of spending the entire day rooted at the same place, under the spell of the Rain God!
The auto headed forward on the same road, much to my surprise & suspicion (for i had expected him to take a U turn & move towards the OMR)!! i was biting my nails & wondering where on earth this fellow was taking me…. The vehicle had moved just a few kms & touched the outskirts of a territory called Kottivakkam…. when the mobile phone of the driver started singing some supposedly melodious song. He took the cell phone single handedly & spoke something to his akka (elder sister). The converstaion went on for a few minutes & meanwhile the auto was going all zig-zag & drafting modern art forms on the road…. thanks to the illustrious concentration power of the driver! After a while of intense, emotional talk over the phone, the driver turned back to me… and said in an extremely panicky voice…. that his wife has been admitted to the labor ward of a hospital…. and that the doctor has declared that there is quite a deal of complications in delivery!! He also asked me nervously, almost with tears in his eyes "Sister, what is the meaning of COMPILLI-KAY-SON?" i told him it meant some prominent issues in the delivery of the baby… at which he started howling & wailing… He went on murmuring that the well-being of his wife was of utmost importance… and that he didnt really mind, even if he had to lose the baby, to save his wife. i was trying to say all that i could, to console & convince him that she would be hale & hearty…. but my words only fell on deaf ears. He proceeded to narrate what seemed to be his life history!! describing a very cinematic love story, that was obviously & dramatically opposed by their parents….. and hence he had no moral/fiscal support from any of the relatives!! i was patiently listening (despite being late to office) to his entire tale of woes…. with a weak heart & tensed mind, when his cell phone rang again…. and it was a second call of alarm from his so-called akka!! He spoke in a trembling voice for a few moments… and then informed me that his wife's condition was serious…. and that he had to reach the hospital immediately with a considerable sum of money for the treatment.
Unable to bear the sight of his painfully distorted face & moist swollen eyes, i proceeded to open my purse and give him 200 bucks; he responded in a flash… enquiring if i could offer him some more cash, since it is the critical need of the hour and he had no other source of revenue in such a short span of time. Deeply moved by his plight, i gave him another 300 bucks and told him this was all i had…. and wished for the speedy recovery of his wife from the ongoing trauma. The fellow was overwhelmed at this deed… that he stepped out of his cabin in the front, came near me… and was about to touch my feet!!! (something which even my husband has not done all his life ;-)) he thanked me profusely & told me that he would be grateful to me throughout his life. i reassured him that everything would be ok soon… and left the place to catch another auto that would ultimately drop me at the office premises, without any further delay. i waited for sooo long that i felt the movie Marudhanaayagam would hit the theatres before i got an auto for my onward trip…. all the share auto drivers announced loudly that they would not be travelling to Thoraipakkam at all (contrary to what the troubled auto driver told me), even if given an MLA seat at that constituency!! So, i walked all the way to the crowded Thiruvanmiyur signal and managed to catch a speeding share auto, madly heading towards TCO! Though i had got fully drenched on arrival at office, though i went extremely late to office within 3 days of joining, though i had to stretch myself for long hours in the late evening, though i had lost a fair amount of money, though my friend told me repeatedly that i had been fooled very cleverly & elegantly, i still had the immense satisfaction of having helped a person in need and having done my good deed for the day!! i had a silent satisfied sleep that night.
Days rolled on…. it had been nearly 7 or 8 months since the afore-mentioned incident had happened. i was now living in Indiranagar, Adyar. It was a Saturday morning around 11.30am… and i was hurriedly looking out for an auto to Koyembedu. And as always, each auto i came across gave me a look as if i was going for my last journey to Mars & quoted attrociously enormous prices for a trip to the private bus stand at CMBT. Time & tide & also the KPN bus wait for none!! It was already past 12.00 and the bus was to commence its journey from Koyembedu at 1.30pm sharp…. and if i were to miss this mobile monster, i would not be able to meet my husband that weekend & will have to wait for 7 more days for the next meeting!! As i walked in anguish, on the troubled waters… err… roads of Gandhinagar, an auto stopped near me. i told the driver the destination… and inquired the charge; not wanting to start any further negotiation, i got onto the vehicle, wondering mildly about the familiarity of the auto driver's face. The driver turned the vehicle to a small lane off the main road & went ahead in full speed. 5 minutes past the start of the ride, his cell phone rang….. he picked it up & there ensued an intense conversation over the phone and the auto's zig zag patterns on the street. i told the autowalla rather sternly, that i had very little time left to board the bus to Bangalore and asked him to hurry up. He turned back with sorrow written all over his face, informing me that his "akka" had called…. to notify him that his wife was in critical condition at a hospital… and that i could take some other auto…. if it was urgent! My heart skipped a beat….. as all the memories of the incident 8 months back, flashed across my mind's monitor. i told him i could not wait any longer and just walked away…. to catch another anonymous auto to Koyembedu.
Till date, i have no clue…. whether this person had in fact cheated me…. or whether his wife was really ailing…. whether all this was a co-incidence or just Deja vu!! Anyway, my sincere advice to all you readers would be: Before availing an auto service, do ensure that
1) the driver is either unmarried or tooooooo old to have a marriage
2) even if he is married, his wife is not pregnant
3) even if she is pregnant, she has no complications in the delivery process
4) even if there are complications during labor, he has no sister to inform him about it
5) even if he has a sister, she does not know his mobile number to share the sorry news
6) even if she knows the number & tells him the tale, you dont have the heart & money to sponsor the delivery of the auto driver's kid!! Amen! :D
Warning: Long post ahead! read at your risk :) :)
This happened sometime post the hot summer of 2006…. when the rains had just grazed the thirsty soils of Chennai. i was put up in a structurally double/practically single BHK apartment at Thiruvanmiyur, just behind the Marudeeswarar temple.
It had been just two or three days since i joined 'my current org' and hence i lacked all the essentials possessed by SW professionals - namely ID card, Access card & Bus pass! So, everyday i used to walk till TIDEL signal and take a share auto to TCO. This particular day, as i stepped out of my flat, the debut showers for the day had started…. and i had no umbrella/windcheater/any other protective equipment in hand…. And self being in disagreement with Shriya Saran's principles, didnt want to do a "Rain number" from Tvmyr to TIDEL…. you might be wondering why i didnt take the ECR route from Thiruvanmiyur instead of the bumpy OMR route? Well, to be frank… though i had been in Chennai for 7yrs during childhood & 2yrs as a working professional, i did not know of any land beyond Tvmyr!! My intuition was that.. the Indian subcontinent stopped within the boundary of Tvmyr… and anything beyond that was an alien continent/extra terrestrial space!! So, i silently walked till the Marudeeswarar temple… while the rain drops were beginning to gain momentum… eagerly looking for an auto of "acceptable nature"! Several autos flew by… but none of them headed to Thoraipakkam After about 10mins of impatient waiting… one auto driver slowed down near me expectantly. "Thoraipakkam?" i enquired, in a slang & accent that brings back memories of the first 10mins of the magnum opus "Dasavatharam"!! He said "80!" and i got into the auto without any further negotiations…. for fear of spending the entire day rooted at the same place, under the spell of the Rain God!
The auto headed forward on the same road, much to my surprise & suspicion (for i had expected him to take a U turn & move towards the OMR)!! i was biting my nails & wondering where on earth this fellow was taking me…. The vehicle had moved just a few kms & touched the outskirts of a territory called Kottivakkam…. when the mobile phone of the driver started singing some supposedly melodious song. He took the cell phone single handedly & spoke something to his akka (elder sister). The converstaion went on for a few minutes & meanwhile the auto was going all zig-zag & drafting modern art forms on the road…. thanks to the illustrious concentration power of the driver! After a while of intense, emotional talk over the phone, the driver turned back to me… and said in an extremely panicky voice…. that his wife has been admitted to the labor ward of a hospital…. and that the doctor has declared that there is quite a deal of complications in delivery!! He also asked me nervously, almost with tears in his eyes "Sister, what is the meaning of COMPILLI-KAY-SON?" i told him it meant some prominent issues in the delivery of the baby… at which he started howling & wailing… He went on murmuring that the well-being of his wife was of utmost importance… and that he didnt really mind, even if he had to lose the baby, to save his wife. i was trying to say all that i could, to console & convince him that she would be hale & hearty…. but my words only fell on deaf ears. He proceeded to narrate what seemed to be his life history!! describing a very cinematic love story, that was obviously & dramatically opposed by their parents….. and hence he had no moral/fiscal support from any of the relatives!! i was patiently listening (despite being late to office) to his entire tale of woes…. with a weak heart & tensed mind, when his cell phone rang again…. and it was a second call of alarm from his so-called akka!! He spoke in a trembling voice for a few moments… and then informed me that his wife's condition was serious…. and that he had to reach the hospital immediately with a considerable sum of money for the treatment.
Unable to bear the sight of his painfully distorted face & moist swollen eyes, i proceeded to open my purse and give him 200 bucks; he responded in a flash… enquiring if i could offer him some more cash, since it is the critical need of the hour and he had no other source of revenue in such a short span of time. Deeply moved by his plight, i gave him another 300 bucks and told him this was all i had…. and wished for the speedy recovery of his wife from the ongoing trauma. The fellow was overwhelmed at this deed… that he stepped out of his cabin in the front, came near me… and was about to touch my feet!!! (something which even my husband has not done all his life ;-)) he thanked me profusely & told me that he would be grateful to me throughout his life. i reassured him that everything would be ok soon… and left the place to catch another auto that would ultimately drop me at the office premises, without any further delay. i waited for sooo long that i felt the movie Marudhanaayagam would hit the theatres before i got an auto for my onward trip…. all the share auto drivers announced loudly that they would not be travelling to Thoraipakkam at all (contrary to what the troubled auto driver told me), even if given an MLA seat at that constituency!! So, i walked all the way to the crowded Thiruvanmiyur signal and managed to catch a speeding share auto, madly heading towards TCO! Though i had got fully drenched on arrival at office, though i went extremely late to office within 3 days of joining, though i had to stretch myself for long hours in the late evening, though i had lost a fair amount of money, though my friend told me repeatedly that i had been fooled very cleverly & elegantly, i still had the immense satisfaction of having helped a person in need and having done my good deed for the day!! i had a silent satisfied sleep that night.
Days rolled on…. it had been nearly 7 or 8 months since the afore-mentioned incident had happened. i was now living in Indiranagar, Adyar. It was a Saturday morning around 11.30am… and i was hurriedly looking out for an auto to Koyembedu. And as always, each auto i came across gave me a look as if i was going for my last journey to Mars & quoted attrociously enormous prices for a trip to the private bus stand at CMBT. Time & tide & also the KPN bus wait for none!! It was already past 12.00 and the bus was to commence its journey from Koyembedu at 1.30pm sharp…. and if i were to miss this mobile monster, i would not be able to meet my husband that weekend & will have to wait for 7 more days for the next meeting!! As i walked in anguish, on the troubled waters… err… roads of Gandhinagar, an auto stopped near me. i told the driver the destination… and inquired the charge; not wanting to start any further negotiation, i got onto the vehicle, wondering mildly about the familiarity of the auto driver's face. The driver turned the vehicle to a small lane off the main road & went ahead in full speed. 5 minutes past the start of the ride, his cell phone rang….. he picked it up & there ensued an intense conversation over the phone and the auto's zig zag patterns on the street. i told the autowalla rather sternly, that i had very little time left to board the bus to Bangalore and asked him to hurry up. He turned back with sorrow written all over his face, informing me that his "akka" had called…. to notify him that his wife was in critical condition at a hospital… and that i could take some other auto…. if it was urgent! My heart skipped a beat….. as all the memories of the incident 8 months back, flashed across my mind's monitor. i told him i could not wait any longer and just walked away…. to catch another anonymous auto to Koyembedu.
Till date, i have no clue…. whether this person had in fact cheated me…. or whether his wife was really ailing…. whether all this was a co-incidence or just Deja vu!! Anyway, my sincere advice to all you readers would be: Before availing an auto service, do ensure that
1) the driver is either unmarried or tooooooo old to have a marriage
2) even if he is married, his wife is not pregnant
3) even if she is pregnant, she has no complications in the delivery process
4) even if there are complications during labor, he has no sister to inform him about it
5) even if he has a sister, she does not know his mobile number to share the sorry news
6) even if she knows the number & tells him the tale, you dont have the heart & money to sponsor the delivery of the auto driver's kid!! Amen! :D
Wednesday, 12 August 2009
Little joys....
My mom told me in the morn that as per my sunsign predictions for
the day, i will have plenty of happiness & sunshine in my life today!
well... so far, this has been quite true
1. Left strong sensible comments in a celebrated blogger's blog today, thereby teaching him principles of modesty & self-discpline! :)
2. sneaked away to the office reception at peak hour and solved THE HINDU crossword semi-successfully!
3. wrote this post on a piece of paper with a bar of pencil between my trembling fingers, a magical feeling experienced what-seems-a-decade ago!!
4. Cracked down a colleague's system password... logged in with his credentials.. and enviosuly scrutinized his Payslip!! Just a token of gratitude from self... for his kindly deed of presenting the scripts i create, to the client, as his own!!
5. Solved the "Petals around the Rose" puzzle in 3 quick moves and felt so superior to Bill Gates!!! Sudhakar, thanks for the link! ;-) The world need more of geniuses like self! :P
6. Got rid of rodents err... relatives from my house in a very tactful manner and shipped them away to a distant inaccessible location, where the gravitational force of the earth would overpower the magnetic force of my house!! :)
7. Wrote this piece of crap, very well knowing it is crap... and is gonna be shunned by readers who accidently fall into this space! Loose motion is any day better than constipation!! :D
the day, i will have plenty of happiness & sunshine in my life today!
well... so far, this has been quite true
1. Left strong sensible comments in a celebrated blogger's blog today, thereby teaching him principles of modesty & self-discpline! :)
2. sneaked away to the office reception at peak hour and solved THE HINDU crossword semi-successfully!
3. wrote this post on a piece of paper with a bar of pencil between my trembling fingers, a magical feeling experienced what-seems-a-decade ago!!
4. Cracked down a colleague's system password... logged in with his credentials.. and enviosuly scrutinized his Payslip!! Just a token of gratitude from self... for his kindly deed of presenting the scripts i create, to the client, as his own!!
5. Solved the "Petals around the Rose" puzzle in 3 quick moves and felt so superior to Bill Gates!!! Sudhakar, thanks for the link! ;-) The world need more of geniuses like self! :P
6. Got rid of rodents err... relatives from my house in a very tactful manner and shipped them away to a distant inaccessible location, where the gravitational force of the earth would overpower the magnetic force of my house!! :)
7. Wrote this piece of crap, very well knowing it is crap... and is gonna be shunned by readers who accidently fall into this space! Loose motion is any day better than constipation!! :D
Thursday, 5 March 2009
i dont understand...
> why some girls(or guys) think that dressing up (or down) to match the latest trends, putting a patch of paint on their lips, sporting a weird out-of-the-world hair do, tatooing and/or piercing all the nooks, corners, fissures & grooves of their body, keeping their skins deprived of sweat glands, residing over time in beauty parlours, walking clumsily with high heeled footwear like horses on a march past.... are the sole purpose for which they were dropped down to Mom earth from the stellar skies above!!
> how some "human beings" are capable of hurting others' feelings so very easily, no matter whether the person is known to them since ages or has been cast in front of them for the first time...
> why people attach so much importance to their religion / caste / creed / traditions even though these are just artificial & imaginary things created by them for no sensible purpose at all and has grown to be the biggest evil in society today
> how/why the mind is designed in such a way to jump in joy/weep in agony/die in pain over matters which seem all the world to one at a given moment... but seem as worthless & irrelevant as a flea in the waste bin after a finite interval of time
> how the mind forms a very descriptive image of a person when one gets to know about him/her from some source for the first time... and this image bears no resemblance to the appearance/behaviour of the real person who is unveiled to you at a later point in life. i must say many of the bloggers comply with this Theorem ;-)
> why my brain is so crooked that it looks for unintened puns & hidden double meanings in simple sentences. i had emailed some Technical data to a colleague and he had replied saying "Thanks SKS! you have given me enough for a sleepless night". i could not stop myself from letting the horse wander :P
> why there are as many languages in this country as there are dry-fruit eating gun powder smelling young fellas in Pakistan. what is the purpose of so many syllables, sounds, slangs & accents when the children in the Little Flower convent next door communicate so effectively using signs & symbols :)
> how is it that i sit down to write something so important and sensational as the Richard Gere-Shilpa Shetty kissing episode or the Muthalik-haath-pe-chaddi episode or the Achu-uncle-Unnikrishnan-patti-comment episode or the RamalingaRaju-eating-250gms-of-rice-&-letting-out-550-ml-of-urine-in-C-class-prison episode.... but finally end up writing all the rot that thy witnesseth overleaf :)
> how some "human beings" are capable of hurting others' feelings so very easily, no matter whether the person is known to them since ages or has been cast in front of them for the first time...
> why people attach so much importance to their religion / caste / creed / traditions even though these are just artificial & imaginary things created by them for no sensible purpose at all and has grown to be the biggest evil in society today
> how/why the mind is designed in such a way to jump in joy/weep in agony/die in pain over matters which seem all the world to one at a given moment... but seem as worthless & irrelevant as a flea in the waste bin after a finite interval of time
> how the mind forms a very descriptive image of a person when one gets to know about him/her from some source for the first time... and this image bears no resemblance to the appearance/behaviour of the real person who is unveiled to you at a later point in life. i must say many of the bloggers comply with this Theorem ;-)
> why my brain is so crooked that it looks for unintened puns & hidden double meanings in simple sentences. i had emailed some Technical data to a colleague and he had replied saying "Thanks SKS! you have given me enough for a sleepless night". i could not stop myself from letting the horse wander :P
> why there are as many languages in this country as there are dry-fruit eating gun powder smelling young fellas in Pakistan. what is the purpose of so many syllables, sounds, slangs & accents when the children in the Little Flower convent next door communicate so effectively using signs & symbols :)
> how is it that i sit down to write something so important and sensational as the Richard Gere-Shilpa Shetty kissing episode or the Muthalik-haath-pe-chaddi episode or the Achu-uncle-Unnikrishnan-patti-comment episode or the RamalingaRaju-eating-250gms-of-rice-&-letting-out-550-ml-of-urine-in-C-class-prison episode.... but finally end up writing all the rot that thy witnesseth overleaf :)
Wednesday, 2 July 2008
My dateless diary of discomforts!
1) i feel quite uneasy when i see someone gobbling idlis or dosas or rotis or any other wholesome, non-sticky palatable stuff for that matter, with forks & spoons! A few days back, i saw one of my colleagues trying to scrape the pulp out of a mango & eat the juicy portions attached to the seed, with a spoon!! That was the heighttttt of unnecessarily-modern-stylish eating! i just wanted to leave a loud imperssion of my hand on her cheek.... but my code of conduct prevented me from doing so... Well..... what is the intention here?? is it to avoid dirtying of fingers/hand? ok, then one can very well wash his/her hand with soap & water that'll serve the purpose of removing food particles, stain, greasy matter & odour from the otherwise clean hands! if the aim is to prove some other point... like the proficiency in table manners/dining etiquette or stylish & sophisticated eating habits.... then, well.... i dont have anything to say to you folks!! Life is too simple guys & so are life styles! Pl dont infuse ridiculous complexities into it!
2) Day to day existence in Bangalore is more troublesome & sickening than life in a large metro (i know & i mean only Chennai ;-))! Waking up at 7 in the morning with half-shut eyes & half-shut mind to see very little daylight peeping in through the window (making it look like a frosty 5 past midnight!), reluctantly doing all the morning duties in the shivering cold, cooking weird dishes in a nonsensical pace & packing lunch, hurrying madly to catch the one & only office shuttle, getting stuck & squeezed in an inevitable intolerable traffic jam every single day, reaching office at the nick ot time... all weary & worn out of the essential body nutrients, spending a usually dull & dreary day at office compulsarily staring at the monitor bleakly & dreaming of the far-fetched yet fun-filled weekend all the while, hanging around with friends & relishing coffee breaks more than the coffee itself, sincerely leaving office even before the clock strikes 6pm!, painstakingly caught in the never-ending queue of vehicle population down the road, a mad rush past vehicles quite oblivious of the changing traffic light hues, reaching home with a sigh of relief & a sense of achievement, refreshing & incessant relaxing in front of the idiot box, gobbling & gnawing the little palatable stuff removed from the refrigerator & reheated in the oven, chatting about office episodes, troubles, worries, wishes & the world of opportunities before us, retiring back to the cosy bed of deep slumber & dreams unlimited!! A normal but crazy routine in every sw prof's life..... but crazier & gloomier when it comes to life at Bangalore.....
3) i completely hate people who linger around the rest room for long hours, chatting on the mobile phone for an idiotically indefinite period of time.... it is absolutely embarassing to find someone lurking about the loo... trying to keep a count of the number of minutes you take to get ur business done, the number of flushes you make, the number of times ur hand comes in contact with the handwash, the number of times you frequent the place in an interval of 2hrs etc... etc... Man, i just cant comprehend how a person can keep talking away to glory for hrs together in such a cramped whacky place (which offers zero or negative network coverage)..... all the time listening blissfully to the soulful music of water mixing with you-know-what! And how does the person at the other end (of the phone, i mean ;-)) relish this background score of strange "sizzling" sounds???!! 8-O All those guys & girls who are into this "testing" practice.... please try to understand.... there's a hell lot of vacant space outside the b.room to exercise your right to speech! Please let the souls in the holy abode "rest" in peace!! :-)
4) The recent appraisal cycle & the resultant hikes/promotions have made me reflect on how well, seemingly-trivial things like a "soap" & "bucket" go together hand in hand.... just like bread & butter, curd rice & pickle, fruit salad & ice cream, vodka & cigar :-) , Laloo Prasad & the cattle junta, Reality shows & controversies, Sreesanth & his "slapstick" comedies on the field, Monsieur Obama & Ms.Clinton, Deepika Padukone & as-of-now-Ranbir, Noida & gruesome murders etc... etc.... The only words of caution to be noted being.... an excessive exercise of soap might also land you in MORE than one bottomless bucket!! Also the same brand of soap might not suit & satisfy all sort of skins.... and if at all the soap falls down during the process, dont hesitate to stoop down low enough to grab the fragments, even if it means gracing the feet of the "provider"! And always remember.... Smoother the soap, stronger the bucket!! :-P
5) i find myself shifting in my seat, shuffling my feet & biting my nails, when someone exclaims "Whoa you are a mallu??? Thats quite surprising!! your husband does seem so.... but your looks dont suggest the possibility of you being one....." this is more like the cliched expression "North Indian" pointing to any person not from the southern states, but could possibly inhabit the east, west, north east, north west, central parts of India!! well well.... i agree Malayalam is my mother tongue, but the fact is i ReadWriteSpeak Tamil even better, know a decent "amount" of English & Hindi, am accustomed to a wee bit of French, can comprehend Telugu & Kannada to some extent, love to learn Bengali any time & have a great passion for Urdu & Konkani!!!!! Now why on earth am i referred to as a Mallu???? just bcoz that's my tongue by heredity? As far as iam concerned, language is just a medium of communication & if both the transmitter & receiver of the sounds/sights are comfortable, even sign language would be fantabulous!! Why unnecessarily associate language with one's traits/traditions/life styles?!!
6) i get suffocated & de-stabilized when iam at my native place, surrounded by infinite number of relatives, all throwing quizzical glances at me & enquiring with an unusual outpour of affection as to whether there is anything "special", anything "extraordinary" happening in my life, with an awkward, mocking smile on their lips! as if the whole purpose of existence in this world is to keep "pollinating" & multiplying!!! i wonder why the hell these folks cant mind their very own business instead of poking their large ugly noses into other people's interiors! i would very well love to massacre this entire lot of people with bare hands.... and let them know what all "extraordinary" things i am capable of doing!! just being polite & courteous all the while doesnt help at all....
7) i find my blood pressure shooting to extra terrestrial heights when the assistants/helpers/sales (wo)men in a shop keep trailing behind me in close quarters.... spying on me like the direct decendant of Mr.Sherry Holmes, breathing under my hat & making me feel like a prey at the hands of a butcher! Why do these people behave this way? Or rather, why are they taught this code of conduct? Cant people be civil/sensible enought o maintain a distance from the customers & still be helpful in times of need? Why should they walk around like they are inseparably attached to our tail bone since entry into the hideous shop!! Many a times, this has made me "flee" from shops involuntarily, without even attempting the intented purchase! it is high time shop keepers realize the need to treat their customers with dignity & provide them the right amount of breathing space & assistance! :-)
8) i feel utterly distressed & helpless when i find myself in close proximity to a eunuch! On the roads, inside parks, at the traffic signal, at the restaurant, at cinema halls & places of tourist attraction, these special set of people make life miserable for innocent individuals passing alongside them! i understand these people are suppressed & oppressed in different walks of life and find it next-to-impossible to sustain themselves on this planet. But, whatever said & done, these group of people should not try to gain sympathy or money by enforcing their physical strengths or "displaying" their biological disabilities to the general public!! This kind of behaviour will only add fuel to the existing fire of hatred, neglect & ill-treatment meted out to this unfortunate community!
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