Thursday, 12 September 2013

The Step Cut!

This weekend, I had subjected myself to a hair cut.
To those of you who are blinking, thinking why this beautiful girl wanted to chop off the cascade of black flowing tresses adorning her head… well let me tell you i have these things called hairs on my head… which look more like an assortment of the Giza pyramids, randomly distributed all over the expanse of my skull… These hairs on my dumb head are idiotically curly… by this i mean… they are neither straight, nor curly… nor by any chance wavy… these idiotically curly hairs, on the aftermath of every wash, entangle themselves & transform into a brush of sorts…. capable of cleaning the hardest of all stains on any surface!!Everyday, i wake up to find more hairs on the pillow, more more hairs on my dress & even more more more hairs on the floor, than what is present on my cranium!! i was constantly reminded of the famous saying "Hair, hair everywhere, not a strand on my head at all!!" (heard of it na??) Now i was soo despo about all these hairy business, that i decided to dethrone all these stupid string-like creatures from my holy head…. so that at least for a few more months, i can stop moaning about hair fall!With such noble thoughts in my mind, i shampooed & washed my hair and headed towards the abode of every pretty woman… the beauty parlour!!Now, being new to Bangalore (now dont ask me whether 8months is actually called NEW….) i had no idea where in the neighbourhood was located a decent (yeah i visit only decent places ;-) ) friendly beauty parlour… With much effort, i managed to find & set foot on a glamourous, sofisticated parlour pretty close to my house, with high hopes of cropping & grooming my hair in the best presentable way…. but alas!! my dreams were shattered when the inmates of the glamour-room looked at me as if i were an alien from Jupiter & had come all the way down to earth, for the sole purpose of cleaning & moping the floors of their damned parlour!! i flew away from the place in a mad rage, to escape the effect of their condescending looks & mocking smiles!

The journey continued…. my husband & self roamed about the roads of Indiranagar, Jeevan Bhima nagar & similar surroundings for more than 2.5hrs…. and finally figured out a simple humble salon befitting my image & personality :-)i went inside the parlour after giving clear instructions to my husband to pick me up after half an hour from the same spot, reminding him of the dire consequences if he failed to do so.The lady at the what-remotely-looked-like-the-reception nodded her head & smiled at me, when i told her that i (badly) needed a haircut. She came near me, touched my hair & felt the intricacies of the locks. There was silence, absolute silence in that little space for the next 120seconds… guess she must have fainted!!After recovering herself (strong immunity i must say!!) from the brief coma, she enquired in an exhausted tone when was the last time i had washed my hair or something to that effect…i told her, promised her, convinced her, reassured her…. that i had bathed in the morning & washed my hair with gentle shampoo! She seemed to disagree… and told me that my hair was quite oily,sticky, greasy & whatnot…. (thanks to the two & half hrs journey around Indiranagar in the hot sun :-( ) She told me that it'll be impossible to do the setting… and that i'll have to come back after washing my hair the next day…. Disappointed & frustrated at the "treatment" meted out to me & my hair, i walked away with a vey sad & sullen expression on my face, towards the door…  just then, the lady sprang up from behind & bolted the door! She clarified that they would do the hair-cutting at once… but only the setting was the problem! Now now, i didnt know what on earth was a "setting"! i agree my hair is a hard, horrible substance to percieve… but that doesnt mean one should equate it to mud or cement or concrete!! Setting, bah!!!

OK to "cut" a long story short… the maids at the parlour dissected & dis-oriented my already dishevelled hair…. trying their best in executing what is well known as the "Step cut"! i came out with "flying hairs" after the experiment…. the hair had been shortened & was made to grace the blades of my shoulder. My husband was visibly displeased at the appearance of moi tresses & exclaimed "Doesnt seem like you've had a hair cut at all… just looks more hen pecked!!" Hmmm… what can i say… im no authority on hairstyles & little could i say/do when i saw the result of my hair-cropping…. i could just mumble "Thanks!" when the parlour maid appreciated my looks & the new hair-do created by her!! Anyway, we went back home…. my husband continuously blaming me for having messed up with my hair…. and me constanly gazing at the mirror on the bike…. trying to figure out whether i resembled the style icon T.Rajendar or his son Simbu the most!! Back home, we agreed upon the inevitable fact that my hair needed further repair & re-engineering, to ensure that I somehow resemble the homosapien breed! Hence, we had a quick lunch…in the next half an hour and set out on the mission to be accomplished.

This time, we took a different route & reached a parlour in the vicintity of Thippasandra market (yeah, the same one where encounter specialist Sowmini had a battle with a brave fella of the cattle :-D ) Hmmm…. The lady at the parlour was one of the serious kind…. asking me in a stern voice whether i wanted a hair cut…. (as if I had come there to watch a full reel of Jodhaa Akbar with my family & was waiting to order the pop-corn….) I was offered a high profile chair (I mean 1 which I had difficulty in climbing up) & made to sit there for 20 minutes, gaping at birds of the same feather… err… hair.. flocking all around me! The ladies at this parlour were decent (read: clever) enough not to touch, feel or smell any part of my hair to find out its "settability"!! They plunged into action right away… spraying water and playing around with scissors, clipping off bunches of hair from the most sound & stable head on earth!! After what seemed like an era, I got up from the seat, looked at my reflection on the mirror and couldn't believe what I was seeing in front of my eyes!! I looked more like a puzzled boy scout at the army camp, who has had his debut hair cut done and is ready to subject himself to further disciplinary measures at the hands of his superiors…. i stepped out of the parlour triumphantly, amused at the metamorphosis a hair cut can bring about to a small sweet girl in town….. As I put my feet outside the parlour, i was so surprised & dumbstruck at the proceedings in the market. There was music…. the one they play during the last journey of a man/woman, there was hell lot of dance, fireworks, rejoicing, shouting, screaming about the road…. that i wondered why my husband had taken soo much efforts to celebrate my hair-cutting ceremony!! This hyperactive crowd with garlands & lotuses (now you know what it was all about :-) ) & crackers, started approaching me in full fervour…. that i wasnt sure if they mistook me for Monsieur Yediyurappa in his yester years…i ventured to explain the state of affairs to them…. but they moved past me… towards the Party office on the farther end of the road.

My husband welcomed me with a smile, obviously delighted at the new look…. even more delighted at the thought that there wont be the ocean of hairs on the floor (which he has no other option but to clean) for another couple of months…. I too feel a lot more relieved now… though this hair style gives me the appearance of a Lhasapso pup, with a heavy curtain of hairs clouding my eyes, disabling me from viewing the proceedings of the world around me…. My team mates were startled to see me at office today…. Some of them clutched their heart… someone there swooned…. some girls were green with jealousy…. And yet some others are still throwing loving glances at me every now & then….
Thus my dear friends, my step cut done in two giant steps, thanks to the hard work & experiments of two fabulous beauty clinics, has been the slowest, shortest & most expensive hair cut in my whole life!!

P.S.: And as usual, sorry for the longgggggggggg post guys!! :-)

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