5 mistakes of my life

Slogging for my project & letting every Tom, Dick & Harry earn credit for the same

not bothering to show case (read: showoff) my accomplishments to every ruddy individual in this company

allowing some insensitive & irrelevant folks to criticise/offend/humiliate me at their wish n will and showing them a plesant smiling face always, instead of my ass!

expecting humane emotions & finer feelings from near n dear ones

not mastering the art of Saying NO

Moody Mondays...

Woke up reluctantly at forty five minutes past seven. greeted my plants
with half-opened eyes & little broken yawns... Prepared a quick lunch only for Praveen, as he finds any food palatable & agreeable.. unlike self, who needs a reasonably delicious gravy un-mixed with white rice boiled to the right degree centigrade & pressure, adequate quantity of melting-in-mouth side dish, preferably with capsicum as one of the ingredients! With very little time left to run for office, i gave up the idea of cooking all the intricate delicacies described above.... and decided to ingest the poor boring lunch at the office cafeteria today (like most of the days!) Boarded a Volvo, travelled quite grudgingly for 15mins and the remaining 15mins immersed in PGW, after managing to find a vacant seat, to place my a$$. Got down well ahead of the stop, to avoid being jammed in the insane traffic for the rest of my life, walked towards office for 10 short mins... and seeped into my "protected chamber" post scrutiny by the ever-observant security folks.

A mundane Monday morning.... full of blues & bitterness... i feel like a Broiler hen being shut in a nasty cage, just before being roasted in a redhot barbecue grill! Struggled through the turmoils of everyday existence at office, combatting project pressure & petty politics for 9 horrid hours...shed silent tears in the rest room...sweared at every piece of code n the coder n the onsite folks who deliberate me to perform such nauseating tasks day after day, in a monotonous way!

Wrote this one during the little intervals of life... trying to penetrate the nebulous labrynth of destiny, knowing very well that.. this too shall pass... like withered leaves on an autumn day... swept away by streams of mystique winds to far away shores... where new born petals glisten amidst green grandeaur... announcing the arrival of a nascent morning... life moves on... even as death beckons the outer gear with a subtle smile & a warm embrace... the inner light flickering meakly.. dew drops on its brows & a whisper on its lips... remembering bygone moments & dusty dreams shelved in the shady nooks of a sub conscious sanctum...

Hell O!! is there a vacancy up above there?

it is high time i stop playing the Joker at office & anywhere else... unless of course i can afford to be the Heath Ledger stuff! if only i had the will to injure & torment others as much as they prod & play with my emotions... hmm... All these days, i was just serving as the Idiot box for this entity called God... and now it looks like mortals too have joined the league! they switch me on whenever they need entertainment free of cost.

i hate going to office, doing utterly annoying & boring tasks in front of a bare insensitive computer, interacting with colleagues, attending conf calls, replying to pain-in-the-necks (managers in case u didnt comprehend), lunching with ppl-whom-you- wish-had-been-transported-to-Jupiter-ages-ago, giving those scary knowledge sharing/transfer sessions to new comers, fiddling about with source code that treats you as its worst enemy, taking tea/coffee/juice/bio breaks only to cool the fuzzy filament inside the skull, venting out frustration on innumerous Notepad files saved as drafts at every nook & corner of the PC, executing hideous scripts till the fall of the night, sending stupid status reports to managers all over the world and living a religiously robotic life from dawn to dusk... every dreadful day of existence....

i am sick & tired of writing blogs these days... the same morose meaningless stuff scrawled all along all the pages... boring melancholy pieces or incredibly idiotic so-called comical writings... all bundled in this bitter bloody blog! Heck!! i think i ought to recede & sleep inside this cocoon... not unleash attrocities on the readers.... hmmm... point noted!

i am unable to relate to feelings of joy, pain, excitement, anxiety or sorrow exhibited by fellow beings... i feel they too are objects frozen in the bonds of time, dolls with strings dangling down the cliff, specimens submerged in bottles of sweet poison, their brain bubbles bursting into acidic & alkaline reflections, marinated in a mindless elixir... swirling in streams of silent pathos...

love has lost its lustre, hope its honour, relationships their meaning... an unwanted unwarranted childhood, an agonizing adolescence, an insignificant miserable existence now, a bleak hopeless life ahead.... is this all i can ask for? nope. Fumes from the plains below... souls in the skies above... a journey of the lifeless... a journey of the invi(n)sible... infinitely converging into the single dot of infinity.... endlessly expanding to sublime forms encompassing this universe... integrating.. and disintegrating.... across the span of space....

Is there a vacancy up there?