Moody Mondays...

Woke up reluctantly at forty five minutes past seven. greeted my plants
with half-opened eyes & little broken yawns... Prepared a quick lunch only for Praveen, as he finds any food palatable & agreeable.. unlike self, who needs a reasonably delicious gravy un-mixed with white rice boiled to the right degree centigrade & pressure, adequate quantity of melting-in-mouth side dish, preferably with capsicum as one of the ingredients! With very little time left to run for office, i gave up the idea of cooking all the intricate delicacies described above.... and decided to ingest the poor boring lunch at the office cafeteria today (like most of the days!) Boarded a Volvo, travelled quite grudgingly for 15mins and the remaining 15mins immersed in PGW, after managing to find a vacant seat, to place my a$$. Got down well ahead of the stop, to avoid being jammed in the insane traffic for the rest of my life, walked towards office for 10 short mins... and seeped into my "protected chamber" post scrutiny by the ever-observant security folks.

A mundane Monday morning.... full of blues & bitterness... i feel like a Broiler hen being shut in a nasty cage, just before being roasted in a redhot barbecue grill! Struggled through the turmoils of everyday existence at office, combatting project pressure & petty politics for 9 horrid hours...shed silent tears in the rest room...sweared at every piece of code n the coder n the onsite folks who deliberate me to perform such nauseating tasks day after day, in a monotonous way!

Wrote this one during the little intervals of life... trying to penetrate the nebulous labrynth of destiny, knowing very well that.. this too shall pass... like withered leaves on an autumn day... swept away by streams of mystique winds to far away shores... where new born petals glisten amidst green grandeaur... announcing the arrival of a nascent morning... life moves on... even as death beckons the outer gear with a subtle smile & a warm embrace... the inner light flickering meakly.. dew drops on its brows & a whisper on its lips... remembering bygone moments & dusty dreams shelved in the shady nooks of a sub conscious sanctum...

The Lost time....

The first thing i realized on walking into office today was... i had lost it! the one precious thing... that has been so attached to my hand & heart for three years now.. had deserted me... leaving me all shattered & dejected. I had never really bothered to check out the time hinted by those prettly little needles unless someone on the road had wantonly asked for it! neverthless, it was a part of me, ticking away harmoniuosly with my heart beat and the tune of my life... well, to those of you who are smirking & sneering "it's after all a watch!", well... not exactly. it meant a life that was... an ocean of love that was.... but long forgotten in the tides of time.... this little piece of beauty had been presented to me by a loved one 3yrs ago and since then it has slipped off my hand so many times... on the busy black roads of Chennai & Bangalore... only to be retrieved by me hastily.... amidst the speeding trucks, angry buses, reckless 3wheelers & mocking pedastrians!

But, this time it was different. it was the rush hour and i was running like my-pants-were-on-fire... with a host of things in my hand... ranging from ID card, purse, papers, lunchbox to hair pin,comb,banana(my breakfast) & my lovely wrist watch. i climbed onto the pillion of the Hero Honda and Praveen accelerated it with full force to join the maddening stream of vehicles on the road leading to my office.i did sense a not-so-light object striking my leg and falling off with a clink! but, dismissed it as some stray piece of rubbish from the road caressing my leg during the speeding journey. Only on reaching office... it all came back to me through the good old flashback spiral!! i instantly hired an auto albeit the driver had charged an insane fare of 80 bucks for a distance of 5kms... and went to the same spot near my residence. i must be awarded the "Ms.Nut of the year" award, to have desperately believed that the piece of shining gold-plated watch would still be lying half asleep on the lane for half an hour... waiting for my cosy touch... for being caressed... for being restored back to the warmth of my skin..., with a plethora of slum dwellers in the vicinity sincerely struggling to get their hands on any property on this street that has been left alone for more than a minute!!! i sadly searched for my dear watch... knowing that it had gone off to foreign hands... hands that had throttled my hopes and doomed my dreams :(

i returned to the auto stand in disappointment.... and took an auto back to my office... knowing that there are more battles to be fought and more tears to be shed... i reached my cubicle just in time to make the customary call to my onsite co-ordinator at the US of A... and discuss project issues (which afaic is a redundant term... for my project has nothing else but problems.. problems... and perennial problems!!!) The call went on for about an hour... during which i was lending an ear to the chidings of the onsite fellow (who suspects whether i have cleared at least my pre kg exam papers), mourning the loss of my pretty "timeless" possession, brooding over the uncertainty of Praveen's current job,sinking into depression at the thought of continuing in this horrible SW engineering field despite hating it with all my heart,silently wiping a tear with the edge of my dupatta & replying in affirmative to all the rot that comes through the phone line... from across the seas!! "Multitasking" i call it!

After the sunset of all the drivelling project talk & technical discussions that mean nothing to me... i disconnected the call, changed the status in "Office Communicator" from "Do not Disturb" to "Available" and set about on the ordeals for the day... with a "barren" left hand, a heavy heart, swollen eyes & a cold insensitive computer! The wall paper on the cubicle facing me, read "Today is the first day of the rest of your life!" hmmm......

Musing-it-is!

I heard myself deeply snoring last night... was under the impression that people with a gamut of problems in hand, never slept in the first place! hmm..

Questions like "Where do you see yourself after 15years?", "What do you want to achieve in a decade?" scare the wits out of me... coz the next living moment is itself a big fat question mark dancing before me & threatening to engulf me!

Dell laptops are so heavy that they cannot be rested on laps, for more than a few minutes!

I suffer from Diarrohea whenever the water pipe in the house is leaking, the motor stops working or when the over head tank is being emptied! Thanks to Murphy!!

My desire/dream of authoring a book in this lifetime is never gonna materialize.... for nowadays i am unable to pen even a single verse of poetry, a piece of short story or even a regular blog for that matter

Relationships are mere illusions from time to time, plotted carefully on the virtual co-ordinates of the mind...

Of late, my Nokia 5200 mobile has been drinking more sambhar than the rice or dosa on my plate!

If only life came in bits & pieces... with one pixel to live at a time... guess it is haphazardly colourful now!!

My heart goes out to the 900 unlucky staff who were mercilessly thrown out of Jet Airways yesterday. Welcome to "ground reality" folks!

The number of times Vodafone calls me everyday is double the number of calls i get from all the humans in "MyContacts" put together!

Only when i was stammering & searching for nouns, verbs & adjectives in English yesterday, did i realize that its been almost 6 months since i had an unofficial light hearted conversation at office!!

It was a shocking revelation when i saw that my physcal weight had leapt by 10kgs, just because i hadnt stood on the weighing machine for the past 1 year! it was even more shocking when my parents referred to me as bulky & ugly!

I got a Timesheet reminder just now prompting me to complete the time entries for this fortnight. how nice it would be if one were to get a reminder 15days/1 month prior to the day when one's time is up on this planet! would aid in increasing the productivity during the final days... :)