Tuesday, 15 June 2010

Pityriasis Capitis!!

Stumped? Flabbergasted?? musing that i am a part time research fellow at the Bhabha Atomic Research centre? wondering whether this is the name of a novel disease that has contracted my tiny brain cells?? secretly admiring my ability to have found out the key substance employed in the Big Bang project? Or completely dismissing this as another variety of ripe mango? well well…. dont strain urself too much guys!!


This post is just a result of the trouble & tension prevailing in my head, due to the almost omnipotent Pityriasis capitis! The subject matter of discussion here is the dry, white or grayish substance that appears in patches on the top of the head, when the scalp sheds dead epidermal cells in large clumps! Yeah, ladies & gentlemen, we are talking about the deadly dandruff!! Of late, i have been reading a lot about this irritating itching condition of the head… and the possible causes & effects of the same. "Dandruff is one of the great levelers of life. It knows no class, creed or race. It affects everyone but not in equal measure" says an author in a e-magazine. Whoa! what an optimistic "socialistic" outlook of the problem in hand!! i wish i could get hold of the fellow who wrote this… and make him scratch my head non-stop till he dies (which by all probability, wud be a few minutes after he contacts my head! :P) Almost all sources say that this condition is due to lack of "skin oil" in one's body…. this i admit is the most ridiculous statement i have heard in my lifetime! coz the amount of oil secretion from my skin is more than the output from those huge oilwells of all the Middle East kingdoms put together!! the layers of oil enveloping the exteriors of my nose is just enough to tackle this country's oil crisis for another 30 odd years (i.e. assuming iam alive & retain my nose for so long ;-)) Another reason cited in the world wide web is that of heredity predisposition which also remains null & void in my case, since none of my parents/immediate relatives suffer from this intriguing problem :-
It seems, dandruff could also be due to lack of rest/emotional stress/poor blood circulation. i have been telling my manager since ages of yore, to provide me an elegant Sony Vaio, a sturdy Volkswagon, company sponsored accomodation at Darjeeling & a french cook to accompany me during the stay… so that i can rejuvenate my system, relax my mind & soul, regulate my blood circulation, (if needed) do an effective work-from-resort and as a result, eliminate all rotten dead cells from my complacent beautiful skin!! well, he seems not so pleased with this scheme of things…. cant figure out why!! :rolling eyes:


Psychiatrists claim that this dandruff is not just a cosmetic problem, it can end up affecting even the person’s social behavior. How true this is!! My favourite pastime nowadays is to scratch my head vigorously & watch with spellbound admiration the beautiful white flakes unfolding their wings effortlessly & falling on the keyboard… just like autumn rain!! i can almost hear the "Pudhu vellai mazhai.." song from Roja in the backdrop, when i indulge in this act that is why elders said… "A keyboard is a reflection of one's head!!" err… didnt they?? i also keep scratching my head during team meetings, conf calls with client, defect triage discussions & appraisal meetings!! But, almost on all of these occassions, people attribute it to my hyperactive brain functions & ultra-efficient thought processes! nobody really thinks the reason for my hand permanently glued to my upper compartment, is a mass of lifeless useless skin cells! We (moi husband & self) also spend our spare time at home, sincerely scratching each other's scalps & adding glory to the Wills slogan "Made for each other!!" So, if any of you guys are planning to drop into my house anytime… (to get my autograph/pose with me for an stylish photograph that is), please give me a ring before you come…. this is for your own safety! :D Owing to the increasing workload at office & the prime need to maintain a decent work-life balance, im planning to hire a PSO (Personal Scratching officer) who would replace my hand-on-head! In case any of you are interested in applying for this esteemed position, please note the main eligibility criteria: the person can be Male/Female (with 99% reservation for TDH male candidates with a striking personality!), need to possess long, elegant nails on all 10 fingers (no colouring material/polish allowed on them lest u poison my hair!!), have high levels of patience & tolerance, extreme commitment, dedication and most important… willingness to work in flexible timings (what if i fall into a scratching fit, in the middle of the night? ;-)). Dont worry, compensation will be on par with the (dandruff) industry standards on my head!!


Now, coming to the cure for this mammoth problem and to prevent it from deteriorating to serious & dangerous "Seborrhoeic Dermatitis":
One frightfully easy method is to use a shampoo containing a cytostatic agent (like selenium sulfide or zinc pyrithione - well dont ask me what these are… may be something like bleaching powder good for scalp anyway!! :D) All those horrid chaps who were dumb enough to not identify that it was the very ordinary "common salt" or Sodium Chloride that was being soooo hyped in the movie Dasavatharam, stop blinking…. try out all possible shampoos in this planet to conclude which would be the ideal one for your already deplenishing hair! It is recommended that eggs, cabbage, wheat, garlic & yeast be incorporated in our daily diet, so that it will enhance the supply of Vitamin B and B6, very important constituents in controlling dandruff! The only foods i can think of to be containing all these vitamin rich components are yummy sticky Pizzas & dry boring Garlic breads!! Alternatively, you could try applying garlic externally… errr.. on your anyway-stinking scalp…. so that'll effectively reduce dandruff generation and also keep ur manager & team members away!! :P Use alternating showers of hot and cold water while washing your hair, to improve circulation around the scalp. But dont overdo it, lest you end up with alternate patches of hair & football grounds on your head! Last but not the least, brush your hair kindly dont treat it like it were a naxal threat & u were the ruling party! :P Well, dont ask me if i have tried any of these remedies out…. im just waiting for responses from the victims errr… the bravehearts who attempted these experiments! Dear readers, you can also drop in some simple, "sensible" & useful suggestions, in the Comments section and help me have an itch-free scalp & life Thanks!

 
src: Lifted from my internal blog at office

25 comments:

Dishit D said...

hilarious one!! - just can't stop laughing!! :)
regarding suggest ions - i too see the beautiful white flakes falling on the keyboard - let me know if you get a solution ;)hehe

lulu said...

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Srikanth said...

lol!! I could see myself all through the post :P..

i enjoy the "scratch my head vigorously & watch with spellbound admiration the beautiful white flakes unfolding their wings effortlessly & falling on the keyboard" too!! :P

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成熟,就是有能力適應生活中的模糊。.................................................................                           

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A bad workman quarrels with his tools...................................................................

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聰明人之所以不會成功,是因為他們缺乏了堅忍的毅力。..................................................

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Barnita said...

excellent piece, hillarious one. Cud not stop laughing. There are thousands of women out there who can co-relate with each word you had said, the problem that they go thru. But your way of putting it across is superb! Thanks for this great piece.

Regarding the problem, well you have done enough research. Nothing helps much, you only need to keep shappoing it off regularly to shake off the dead cells. And too freuqent shampooing your hair has its pitfalls as you have rightly said!